This isn’t something that I would usually post on my page, but it is something that has been circulating in the back of my mind for quite some time now and I just wanted to get it all out there. Who knows?! Maybe someone else agrees. Here goes…
Please note that this is a generalization based on my own experiences. I realize that all men are not like this. Any men who are not like what you’re about to read, hit me up 😉 hahah jp
What Most Men are Missing Today
Yes, most of us are all strong, independent women these days, but that doesn’t mean we don’t envy the relationships our grandparents and even parents (this is more rare these days) have with their significant others. In all honesty, I have been more successful in my life compared to some of the guys I’ve dated, but that doesn’t mean I don’t long for certain characteristics or want someone reliable in my life.
Here are some aspects many men are missing in society today:
Love me for me. Not who you want me to be. Not for my aesthetics. Not for what I have. Think of how your decision will affect me before making it. Think of my needs, as well as your own. Don’t put yourself in a situation to jeopardize the relationship. Don’t cheat on me physically, emotionally, or visually. Prioritize your time so that you can give me the attention I deserve. No excuses.
Strive to be the best person you can be. Strive to be the best boyfriend/husband you can be. Never settle (well, settle just for me being the only girl). Don’t just be content with how things are, but constantly try to make things better. I don’t want to take care of you. I ain’t yo mama! Let’s make each other better, while also making ourselves better.
Open the door for me. Pay for a date that you asked me out on. Protect me from others (both verbally and physically), even though I know I can protect myself. Be my backup. Treat me like a Queen, and I’ll treat you like a King.
There used to be a sense of pursuit. Courting. And now, with that gone, we have a gray line of how dating should be. Dates have turned into “hangouts”. Intimacy is given too freely, without any meaning behind it. Write me little notes. Buy me flowers sometimes. Do something nice for me. Show me you care, don’t just say it. We all know that “actions speak louder than words”.
Don’t just talk to me for my body. Let’s talk about things other than our favorites and what we like to do. Why not even experience some of those things together?! Let’s get deep. Let’s talk about things that randomly come into our heads, things that make us rethink life as we know it, things that you may not have the confidence to tell anyone else. Let’s actually converse. Stay up late and not even realize that the time flew by.
Confidence to be themselves. To not care what anyone else thinks. To take a girl dancing even though you make look like a fool, just to make her smile. Confidence to meet friends and family and WANT to impress them, but still be who you are. Confidence that the relationship won’t implode and keeping her and getting to know her at bay. Confidence in the relationship and willing to step out into the unknown, willing to take a dive.
Probably one of the most important of all. This is an estimate (and may seem harsh), but I truly believe only 5% of people really truly romantically love the person they marry, or even at all. Let me explain! Take out everything and everyone else besides your significant other out of the picture…would you be happy? Is the love that you have with that person sustainable just in itself? That makes me sad. So many people need social media (FaceBook, Instagram, whatever…I get it, I got rid of FaceBook four years ago and I wanted to check it every second of every day during that two week delete timeframe because I knew I couldn’t) or material things to be happy. If you are happy as you are, and think of that other person before yourself (as long as you are happy!), then that is true love. Putting that other person before yourself, for the betterment of the person and the relationship (also for “the relationship” is key because there is such a thing as putting someone else first but it not being better for the relationship) is one of the most important aspects in a potential significant other is crucial in my eyes.
And girls, that doesn’t leave you off of the hook, either! I always think to myself before I do anything how it will affect the other person (with what is best for me in mind, as well). Can I do for someone else what I am asking of them? The answer should be yes, and it shouldn’t come in the form of a chore, but a want. A want to put a smile on that person’s face, a want for them to be happy.